36.0 Dangers of Mistaking Tolerance for Empathy

36.1 What is "Dangers of Mistaking Tolerance for Empathy"?

Throughout our lives, there are countless times when we feel empathised and tolerated towards people. This is especially true for nice people. Both tolerance and empathy are initiated on goodwill. The implications, however, differ to one another. How many of us realise the times we mistake tolerance for empathy? Being mindful of what differentiates tolerance and empathy will enable us to be better in living our day-to-day lives.

36.2 Definitions and Drives

What is empathy? Empathy is the ability to identify and understand another person's situation. What drives empathy? Empathy is driven by two keys: acceptance and understanding. A person requires both sense of accepting and understanding to empathise others. It is a reinforcement that allows you to share another person's experience be it positively or negatively.

What is tolerance? Tolerance is the ability to endure hardships and pain. What drives tolerance? Tolerance is driven by one key: patience. A person requires patience to tolerate others. It is a reinforcement that allows you to give another person's experience to step in or push away your own.

36.3 The Dangers of Mistaking Tolerance for Empathy

There are definite dangers that may harm oneself when he/ she unmindfully uses the wrong ability in communicating with people. To clarify this, we need to understand the implications.

Tolerance allows other party to step into your life activities in both speech and actions. It allows the other party to push away your activities by having theirs prioritised. This gives risks in harming your credibility or worth. You are harmed in many ways which include damaged confidence, damaged self-worth, immature growth, wasteful time, harmful to physical health, etc.

Empathy allows you to share others' experience while at the same time allowing them to share your experience. It allows both parties to be in consensus through acceptance and understanding towards one another. This gives rewards in developing one and another. You are rewarded in many ways which include boosted confidence, boosted self-worth, matured growth, resourceful time, healthy physique, etc.

36.4 Scenario Example

To have clarification on implications of empathy versus tolerance, let's have one simple scenario: lending money.

A person lends money to another individual as he/ she was low on cash to survive in living for the month. The borrower agrees to the loaner to have the money returned at a specific date.

1. In practising empathy: The borrower finally has the money to return to the loaner at the agreed date; the loaner appreciates it and tells the borrower to inform him/ her whenever he/ she is in trouble again; this appreciates their relationship as both parties empathise one another.
2. In practising tolerance: The borrower reaches the agreed date but refuses to return the money to the loaner; the loaner feels reluctant and tells the borrower to have it forgotten; this depreciates their relationship as the loaner tolerates towards the borrower.

I hope this topic benefits you as much as it has benefited myself, wa la hawla wa la kuwatta ila billah. Insha'Allah, the next topic will be posted in the near future.