5.0 Poisons of the Heart - Its Protections and Cures

5.0 What is "Poisons of the Heart - Its Protections and Cures"?

What do we understand from the title "Poisons of the Heart" initially? Na'uzubillah, there are many types of poisons inflicting the heart negatively namely gossips, jealousy, and hatred as such. The heart in this post particularly is referred to our 'iman' (faith). In this post, furthermore, we would focus on the poison namely gossip. Gossip, a non-benevolent WOM (Word of Mouth), can either be embraced or rejected.

5.1 The Options and Courses of Action

There are two options identified in tackling gossips surrounding us. The first option - Option A - is to embrace the gossip culture, whereas the second - Option B - is to reject the gossip culture. Here, we will address the backbiting group as the plaintiff whereas the ones being backbitten as the defendant.

5.2 Option A

Option A is to embrace the gossip culture, wherein there are four cycles in handling the gossip culture effectively in minimizing its infliction to us.

5.2.1 Detection

The first and foremost cycle, is to detect that a conversation is that in nature of gossiping. How can we identify whether or not a conversation is as such nature? Gossip, in its nature, consists of few elements namely as such:

1. It inspires the group of society to talk about others who are not presently within the group;
2. It leads to ill-mouthing/ backbiting of the respective person(s); and
3. It is conducted in secrecy.

It is vital to be a neutralist in embracing the gossip culture for embracing gossip without the perception of bias-free would inflict us to be indirectly enjoined into the plaintiff's group.

5.2.2 Protection

There are few measures in safeguarding us, in the second cycle, from having our iman inflicted by gossiping. First of all, it is vital to practice remembrance of Allah Azza wa Jal (mighty and majestic is He) throughout every moment in our daily life, be it even in the act of embracing gossiping. A question may arise from this statement - "be it even in the act of embracing gossiping" - for its nature is that of drawing sin. Here's the justification. Identify our intention of embracing the gossip - i.e. building rapports, nullifying the disputes occurred, etc. - then one type of remembrance that suits for this is to recite "na'uzubillah" initially in our mind. Reciting this is a measure to keep us bias-free from being inflicted by the gossip.

Another practical safeguard measure is to practice 'ruqya'. What is 'ruqya'? 'Ruqya', generally, is a recitation of Al-Quran 's chapters of Al-Falaq and An-Nas, or just the specific du'a for the purpose of seeking refuge in Allah Azza wa Jal from shaytan. A brief lecture of it can be viewed here. Finally, a simple practical tip on protecting our iman from minimizing damage in embracing gossip is to air-spit to our left side for three times. The cause of the heart's uproar is due to shaytan's whispers. The action of air-spitting for three times will remove the whispers from our mind. This tip is actually to be practiced in performing 'solat' (prayer), but its nature of removing the whispers of shaytan to our mind enables it to be used in such occasion as gossip. This particular method was found in an article posted by the ProductiveMuslim team.

5.2.3 Healing

How to heal our injured iman? The answer is simple:

"The sweetness of this life is found in remembering Allah. The sweetness of the next life will be found in seeing Him" - Shaykh Yasir Qadhi.

Therefore, one remembrance that we must indulge with the result of the post-activity is to utter istighfar, "astaghfirullah". Verily, Allah Azza wa Jal is Al-Ghaffar (The Most Forgiving). It was mentioned that Rasulullah s.a.w. (peace and blessings be upon him) uttered istighfar for 100 times daily. Subhanallah, even the best humanitarian ever lived, the one chosen by Allah Azza wa Jal, seek Allah's forgiveness. Other practical healing habits are listening to Al-Quran, nasheed, lectures, etc.

5.2.4 Controlling

Control, the fourth cycle after the preceding three cycles, focuses on self-accountability, the plaintiff and defendant. In being self-accountable over the gossip, it is crucial to be neutral for even Islam teaches us to not hate our enemies nor love our allies because their stances toward us may change. There is a sunnah of Rasulullah s.a.w., where everytime he passed by his neighbour's house, the neighbour would throw dirts to him. The neighbour, one day, fell ill without Rasulullah's knowledge. Rasulullah s.a.w. wondered on the abnormality of the neighbour. He inquired on his presence at the neighbour's home but to no avail. He, then, asked others and finally got the news of the neighbour's state. Rasulullah s.a.w. visited him, and he asked "Why do you visit me regardless of the treatment I have given you?". Rasulullah s.a.w. replied "I am visiting you for you are my neighbour.". Subhanallah, the bias-free character in Rasulullah s.a.w.'s sunnah was clearly depicted that despite all of the ill-treatments he received, he still kept on being a neutralist.

Taking control of the plaintiff and defendant, after we have controlled our self-accountability, we should direct the dispute arose to the best possible solution within our power. Try to resolve the issue by inspiring them. One practical tip is to practice the positive mentality. What is positive mentality? Positive mentality is the ability of our mind to keep steadfast in discounting any nature of events, we would view them in a positive perspective, question the causes, and think critically on what can be done to resolve the issues. One over many positivity approaches is the 5-W - who, why, what, where, and when - that primarily questions the causes of an event. Insha'Allah, it is after narrowing down all these five questions that we will be able to solve the issues constructively.

5.3 Option B

6.3.1 Detection

Option B is one that exits the gossip. In choosing exit as our option, we should bear in mind the similarity of gossip and 'najwa'. What is 'najwa'? 'Najwa' is, as uttered by Nouman Ali Khan, a meeting of a small number of participants that often results in negative discussion.

"There is good najwa and bad najwa." - Nouman Ali Khan

In the case of gossip, it is clearly a bad najwa. A good najwa rarely occurs. The full lecture by Nouman Ali Khan on the topic of najwa can be watched here. Na'uzubillah, gossip is a poison in its very nature, thus, killing our iman.

5.3.2 Control

The one and only control approach in opting Option B is realizing our self-accountability. We need to leave the room, where occupied within it is the people who engage in gossiping. In the case that we become the topic of their gossip in turn of our exiting, one cycle of gossip in term of spirituality should be fixed into our mind. That cycle is: When a person backbites another, his/ her rewards will be transmitted to the one being backbitten. In other words, Allahhu'alam, you will get free rewards without doing anything. It must also come to our mind that if we were to be the ones ill-mouthing others, our rewards will be transmitted to them too.

I hope this topic will benefit you as much as it has benefited me, insha'Allah. Insha'Allah, the continuance of this topic - Poisons of the Heart - will be posted in the future.